A few days ago at work I had a moment of the absurd. I was speaking to my new boss about my future there, and the state of my contract. I expressed doubt that my services would be needed any longer. He looked at me with all sincerity and said, "You're invaluable here." hehehe! Ummm . . . no, I'm not even useful there. Yesterday I spent the morning reading through the little piece of writing that I'm including below. That's what I did all morning—editing a little gay porn story. I wrote this at the Outerbanks of North Carolina about two summers ago, when I was spending a week there with my family. It's my favorite summer beach location. A week there in the summer is always a high point of the year for me. I can go there and loose myself in nothing but the concerns of the beach—sunscreen, the rough surf, the book I'm reading. I sit on the beach through the late afternoon, watching as the families gather up their kids and their chairs to return to their beach houses for dinner. I'll sit on my blanket in my sweater shirt, protecting my head from the whipping wind as I try to read and wait for the sunset. When the beach is nearly empty, perhaps a lone fisherman casting his line in and out several hundred yards down the shoreline, I'll take off my sweat shirt and hat, and walk into the rough waves and play, staying beneath the water where the wind can't chill me. It's the best time of the day. My mother always worries that, out there alone, I might come upon trouble and drown, but I don't. Anyway, here's the little story I wrote the last time I was there.

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Jacob came with his family to the North Carolina coast, as they did each year for as long as he could remember. This year they came with two other families from his hometown—not really close friends of the family. He didn’t even know them. They were last minute replacements from his father’s work at the university—stand-ins for his aunt’s family and the Goodmans, with whom they came every year.

Each day their routine was the same. After a slow and lazy morning—early morning television for the kids, the first pot of coffee and idle chat for the adults, breakfast melding seamlessly into an early lunch—they would pack up their chairs, towels, lotions, snacks, and other simple amusements and head off toward the beach, down the road in front of the house, some a little ahead, some a little behind, but always the women forming the center of the caravan. Although there was an odd symmetry in the makeup of each of the families, each with one boy and one girl of approximately the same ages, their dispositions were not so patterned. At least the boys.

Jacob was quiet, remaining close to the inner machinations of his family’s daily life, yet willing to socialize when appropriate. He would start college in a few months at a local school. Jacob was not especially interested in school, nor was he very athletic. He preferred to read comics, watch sitcoms on Nickelodeon, and hang out with his few close friends. But this week he was expected to be friendly with the other boys—Andrew, a year older, just finished with his first year at the local college Jacob would be attending in another few months, and Aaron, a little younger, the high school freshman, already a young jock with a wide circle of friends and a brooding girlfriend. Jacob felt certain he had little in common with either of these boys, having spent two days with them at the beach already.

As the group walked along the road to the beach, carrying the day’s supplies, Jacob sung a little too loudly to himself, his headphones on and the portable CD player playing. Andrew walked well ahead of the group alone, juggling a beachball and generally ignoring the group. Occasionally he would look back with impatience, pausing to lessen the distance between them. Jacob in his characteristic fog, wondered what Andrew’s story was—who were his friends, what was his life like at college, why was he here instead of working somewhere for the summer. He had the effusive good nature and the athletic good looks to suggest popularity and general success, which to Jacob did not square with his presence here. But it was merely a passing thought—Jacob did not spend much time mulling over such things.

When Andrew reached the path through the bushes to the beach, he waited for the others, leaning against a wooden fence as the others approached and then passed on through. Jacob took no notice, walking undisturbed toward the beach until Andrew pulled at his towel and asked, “What are you up to?”

“Oh, nothing much. Why?”

“Want to go skinny dipping?”

“Skinny dipping … here? Are you crazy?”

“It’s easy. You just pretend the waves pull your suit off, and when you’re ready to go back in, you suddenly find your suit floating in the water, put it on, and no one’s the wiser.”

“You’re crazy. I’m not gonna do that.”

“Ok, chicken shit. I’ll do it alone.”

With that, Andrew smiled, turned and headed up the path behind Jacob.

The wind blew steadily, making the surf rougher than it had been in previous days. No one went into the water straightaway, preferring instead to relax and absorb the heat on their chairs. The adults ceremoniously opened their hardcover books, and the girls stretched out their towels and applied oils to their skin. Jacob switched CDs, took off his shirt, and threw it over his eyes in preparation for a late morning nap. The beach was still sparsely populated but would soon begin to fill as noon approached and vacationers wondered on after their late morning breakfasts.

Within a half hour the group was surrounded by other families on either side, and more further down. A group of girls, about 15 or 16 years old, headed down towards the water and caught Andrew’s eye. Jacob watched Andrew watching the girls until Andrew looked up at Jacob, smiled, and said, “Time to go in.” Jacob wasn’t sure what he meant, if anything, by his smile, but he intended to watch. Andrew walked slowly toward the water, approaching the girls to their left. He wore black and maroon swimming trunks that hung just below the knees. His skin was naturally dark, made even darker by the days in the sun and his own dark body hair which covered his thighs, shins, and feet, but oddly did not travel beyond his waist. Although he was no athlete, his body was trim, well-proportioned, with musculature natural to that of a 19-year-old and shocks of dark hair that surrounded his face and rested just at his shoulders. It was clear to those around him, however, that Andrew’s best feature was his good cheer and disarming smile. He joked, teased, cajoled, and schemed, but all the while his smile betrayed an attitude of carefree indifference to the outcome of his schemes.

As he neared the water and then entered to just above his ankles, he turned and waved to Jacob to join him. The girls took no notice of him. Jacob couldn’t help but smile. After hesitating for just a moment, he jumped up to join Andrew, with no intention, of course, of following him in his planned skinny dipping charade. Still, it was not to be missed. The girls pranced around the crashing waves, shouting at one another and jumping back to avoid the splashing water while simultaneously being drawn further in. Andrew walked in without hesitation to just below his waist and then sat down to roll around at the will of the water, his back to Jacob. Jacob watched at the edge of the water with a look of utter indifference, though surreptitiously casting glances in Andrew’s direction. Andrew’s swimming trunks clung tightly to his body as the water washed first up, filling the legs like clown pantaloons and then draining back into the sea to reveal the outline of his boyish form, his thighs, the slight bulge at his pelvis, the dark hairs of his legs floating upon the water’s surface. Although Jacob had not yet been overtly sexual with anyone, he was often drawn to certain boys—at a public shower, the occasional porn shared among friends. He knew this, but he had never thought to act upon it. He enjoyed watching Andrew’s body; he quietly enjoyed Andrew’s effusive happiness. But this was the extent of his interest.

Within a few minutes he could see Andrew reaching with one hand slowly and without notice into his trunks to untie the draw string, his other arm outstretched behind him. Having loosened his trunks, he jumped up and walked casually into the threshold where the waves broke, diving into the first sizable wave. Jacob knew what he was up to.

For five minutes he watched as Andrew jumped into one wave after another, ducking into and out of the surf. Occasionally he’d turn his back to the water and take the wave that way, shrugging his shoulders as the water washed over his head. Andrew always emerged with a smile, of course, and with swimming trunks pulled below his tan line, usually half cocked to show the upper part of a single pale buttock. Aware of the girls huddled together closer to shore, he was always slow to pull the trunks up, or so it seemed to Jacob.

Andrew thrashed about for several minutes, as Jacob grew less and less interested. The girls likewise showed no interest, happy enough with comparing each other’s tans and bikini fits, and privately wondering about the likelihood that they would be picked out from among the group by a passing boy. Jacob had just turned away from the water to return to his towel when Andrew called out his name. As he turned back, he saw Andrew standing hip-level in the water, the tan line above his pelvis showing when the water retreated. Somehow his trunks were floating atop the surf just near shore. He waved to Jacob with a grin, pointing at his trunks and motioning for Jacob to bring them to him. Jacob felt immediately embarrassed for him, as the girls noticed what had happened and plainly saw that he was naked. The exposed ‘v’ of his lower abdomen, formed from the creases where his legs joined his hips, was exposed, along with the top of his ass. He was not flaunting his nudity; nor was he exactly embarrassed.

Jacob instinctively moved quickly to the trunks, grabbed them, and walked against the surf toward Andrew. With his back to the shore he heard the girls tittering, “Oh, my god” and laughing. Andrew was also smiling at Jacob as if teasing, taunting him. When he was close enough, Jacob tossed the trunks at Andrew, who had to fall forward to catch them. Jacob caught a glimpse of his ass as he fell into the water—the wonderful crack of his ass, the white of his skin that suggested nakedness, sex. He felt a rush of lust. But was practiced in concealing it.

“You ass,” he said when Andrew got up.

“What? It was an accident,” protested Andrew as his face sparkled. “Besides, you needed to get in the water anyway.”

Jacob finally smiled back, relenting in his half-hearted disapproval. He tried not to watch, not to look at the nude body before him as Andrew bent over to put his trunks back on.

“Nice, isn’t it?” asked Andrew.

Jacob was thrown by the question, unsure of what he meant. His body? What was nice? “What?”

“The water, you fool!” exclaimed Andrew.

“No, I’m freezing my ass off.”

“Really? Let’s see,” said Andrew as he grabbed Jacob by the shoulder, turning him around as if to check for his ass. Jacob turned obediently, before catching himself. “Nope, I see some ass still there,” he said, grinning as always. Jacob couldn’t stop himself from smiling too.

“Shut up. I’m going back, if you think you can keep your pants on.”

“I’m all set for now. But we should do this again sometime.” Always the smart ass, Andrew knew Jacob was enjoying himself behind the protestations.

“Or maybe next time I’ll take the trunks onto the beach, ” Jacob threatened.

“Oh, you really want to see me naked, don’t you?” Andrew chuckled.

“Ok, bye, bye,” responded Jacob dismissively, turning and riding the waves zigzag onto shore.

The remainder of the day passed as all the others had, with episodes of swimming wedged between longer intervals of reading and sunbathing. The group broke for lunch during the peak of the afternoon heat, returning to enjoy the milder temperatures of the later afternoon, and the lazier winds. Jacob always grew restless, preferring to walk up and down the beach with his headphones blasting.

As sunset approached, groups of two or three began to peel away and return to the beach house to wash the saltwater from their reddened skin and prepare for dinner. Showers and hot water were too scarce at such times of the day.

Jacob was one of the first to return, always ready before everyone else. He didn’t really like the beach, but what else was he to do? (He hadn’t entered the water at all except to retrieve Andrew’s swimming trunks.) Andrew, as always, held out till the end, preferring the beach to most anything else. Besides, the last to arrive home could take the longest shower, free of worry for the water.

When Andrew returned, he could hear the sounds of dinner preparation coming from upstairs. He was hungry. Gathering soap and some clean clothes from his room, he headed down to the outdoor shower beside the pool. He preferred this shower to those indoors. Though built of old wooden panels, the shower was not entirely enclosed. Feet and shins were exposed for passersby to watch while they imagined the naked body within and listened to the fall of water, suds, and a body lathering. There was something erotic about being naked outside, something erotic and exposed. The daylight, the fresh air . . . these all contributed something new and refreshing for Andrew.

He hung his dry clothes on the hook inside and pulled his wet swimming trunks off his hips, letting the sand fall from his pelvis, back, and buttocks. The sun was just beginning to set, and a stillness seemed to blanket these moments of the evening, as if Andrew and the sounds of shower water falling on pavement were the only things in the world. He reached his hand out to feel the heat of the water and then stepped fully underneath it, embracing the luxury of its warmth.

First turning his back to the water pellets and then facing the water head-on, he turned in this manner several times until his body felt warm and ready for soap. As he faced the shower head, he watched and smiled while a steady stream of water ran off the end of his penis, as if he were urinating. Even into young adulthood this always made him happy, as though he were still a small boy first experiencing the amusement his own penis could provide.

He reached for the soap and lathered his body quickly and methodically, beginning with his face and neck, moving downward to his chest and arms, and finally to his pelvis, buttocks, legs, and feet. His mind wondered randomly, a thousand miles from the task at hand, as he squeezed a small pool of shampoo into the cup of his hand and washed his dried and salty hair.

Instinctively he reached for his towel to dry the water from his eyes when he realized he’d forgotten to get a clean towel from the house. “Shit” he cursed to himself and then paused briefly to consider his options while water dripped from him. Turning off the water, he flung his arms free of water, kicked his legs, and shook his hair. Already he was getting cold, his torso still very wet and dripping. Maybe he’d just slip his swimming suit back on, get a towel, and quickly return to shower off any sand from the suit. Just as he bent over to stick his leg through the trunks he heard someone open the sliding glass doors of the house and begin to walk down the stairs. “Hello” he called out, hoping by luck it was one of his family. Nothing . . . “Hello” he shouted louder.

“Hi?” responded a voice after some delay. “Someone say something?”

“Jacob?” Andrew called out, smiling to himself. “Are you stalking me?” he said with a tease. “Look, if you really want to see me naked, why don’t you just ask?”

“I’ve already seen you naked. The thrill is gone, dude. What do you want?”

“You were thrilled? I had no idea you felt that way about me.” He chortled. “I need a towel. Could you bring one down to me?”

Jacob sighed audibly, as if to convey the inconvenience of it all. “Yeah, just a minute,” he said as he turned to walk back up the stairs. Andrew returned to his shower to keep warm.

A moment later Andrew heard the door open again and footsteps tread down the stairs. “Hey, here’s your towel,” Jacob shouted, holding the towel up for Andrew to grab over the shower stall.

“No, it’ll get all wet. Bring it in and hang it on the hook with my clothes.”

Jacob paused for a moment, suddenly a little uncomfortable. It was a reasonable thing; no reason to think anything of it, he thought to himself, so why was he suddenly nervous? He walked around the shower to the entrance and opened the door partially, looking straight ahead for Andrew’s clothes and being careful not to look directly at Andrew. He wanted to see him, but he didn’t want to seem to want to see him. Finding the hook, he hung the towel and began to withdraw his arm from the doorway and step away when Andrew spoke. “Thanks. I don’t know why I forgot it. My mind is never on what it should be.” Jacob turned to face him, trying to maintain an appropriate nonchalance. Andrew was facing him directly. His body glistened with the soft light of dusk as the water continued to fall behind him. Jacob was struck by the sheer nakedness, the stark contrast of skin colors accentuated by tan lines. He was beautiful—Jacob felt that instantly. He was flustered and needed to leave.

“No problem,” Jacob responded nervously, his eyes darting to the floor as he again turned to leave.

“Are you mad at me for messing with you today? You know, I was just fooling around. I do that a lot. Some people don’t get it.” Jacob stopped, holding the shower door open with his foot and looking beyond Andrew to the bare wooden stall wall to his left.

“No, it’s ok. I just couldn’t believe you did that,” he said as a smile broke across his face.

Andrew smiled in return—a big, warm smile that put Jacob instantly at ease. “Yeah, I do it all the time. I think people wonder why I haven’t figured out how to tie my trunk draw string by now.” He laughed and stepped back into the stream of the shower.

Jacob wasn’t sure if he should go but asked in return, “So do you like being naked in the water or something?” They looked eye-to-eye as Andrew moved his arms around his upper body in a lathering, raising first one arm to expose his arm pit, and then the other.

“I like to be naked, period. I don’t know … I always have.” He spoke slowly, “It’s not as if I like to flash or anything, but it kind of turns me on to be naked when everyone else isn’t.”

“I’m always nervous when I’m naked. I always feel like everyone’s watching me and laughing or something. I hated taking showers at school.”

“Not me. Besides, I like to see other people naked too.”

“Even guys?” Jacob spoke even before he thought. It was a reasonable question, but immediately he wished he hadn’t asked it. He was embarrassed. Andrew smiled again but said nothing. He turned to reach for the soap again, twisting his torso in a profile pose, and freeing Jacob to look at him. Jacob was flush with desire as he watched Andrew turn his back and buttocks to him. He had a small ass; the same dark hair which covered his legs extended up and around his ass but not beyond the waist. Jacob understood why Andrew wasn’t afraid of his own nudity.

“I love to see naked guys.” He paused. His penis was beginning to stiffen with arousal. Jacob’s eyes darted downward as if beyond his control. “Are you surprised?” Andrew added.

Their eyes met. Again Jacob felt he should leave, but Andrew’s gaze held him. Andrew moved toward him and leaned forward to grab the door which Jacob still held open with one arm. He closed the door as Jacob watched, trying to be calm while quietly reveling in the intrusion of his personal space. He answered softly, “No, I don’t mind.” Andrew reached for Jacob’s wrist and drew Jacob’s hand to his shoulder. With his free hand he reached out to cradle Jacob’s jaw and then nestled his face around Jacob’s neck with surprising tenderness.

“Jacob, you’re cute,” he whispered. Andrew gently kissed his neck, just beneath the ear, as Jacob closed his eyes and leaned into him, rubbing his face against Andrew’s. He could feel Andrew’s now full erection press against his pants, and he wanted to feel his nude body with his hands.

“Can I touch you?” he whispered into Andrew’s ear. Andrew nodded silently and Jacob slowly slide his hands down the sides of Andrew’s torso, onto his hips, buttocks, and thighs, sighing heavily as his arms traveled downward. Andrew reached behind him for Jacob’s hand and, covering it with the palm of his own hand, guided it from the top of his buttocks downward between his ass cheeks and drawing Jacob’s finger over his anus. Andrew released a soft groan as Jacob followed his lead and probed deeper, reaching around with his other hand to feel Andrew’s lower abdomen and the patch of hair just behind his rigid penis.

Jacob quickly lost all inhibition, groping Andrew freely in the downpour of the shower. Stepping with one foot onto the base of the shower wall, Andrew invited Jacob’s finger deeper inside him as he stroked his stiff cock. Jacob obliged by pressing into him and then listening for the moan of pleasure he was sure would follow. His asshole was warm, thought Jacob, so warm. Andrew arched his back and thrust his ass upward towards Jacob's finger. Jacob pulled out and re-entered, cupping his other hand around the firmness of Andrew's buttocks. Andrew gasped, breathing irregularly as Jacob looked up at him to see his contorted face. Jacob probed with his finger until Andrew's asshole was loose, but Andrew had other ideas.

Reaching behind him again and taking Jacob's hand, Andrew pulled him toward his face, smiled slightly, and kissed him on the lips while holding his hand in his own. "Do you mind if I feel you?" He reached for Jacob's pelvis, wondering if he was aroused behind the space of his baggy jeans. He was, he could see, pressing his hand to the front panel of Jacob’s jeans to reveal the contours of his fully erect penis. Andrew tugged at the zipper, reaching within to pull out Jacob's erection from the fly of his boxers. In awe of any aroused penis, Andrew noticed, more than its size, color, or shape—for all of these were pretty normal, he thought—more than these, he was struck by how particularly rigid he was.

"Oh, man, you're so hard," Andrew remarked, almost without thinking. He instinctively held it with both hands delicately, kissing the length of the shaft and rubbing it against his cheek, as if in adoration. Jacob was scarcely aware of anything but the sensation of Andrew's touch, and his presence, saying and seeing nothing.

Andrew reached for the shampoo bottle with one arm and squeezed out a pool in the cup of his other hand. He rubbed it between his hands and gripped Jacob's cock near the top, pushing downward slowly and feeling the idiosyncratic ridges, veins, and curves of Jacob’s penis while Jacob thrust his pelvis ever so slightly. Andrew stroked slowly but deliberately with one hand until Jacob was noticeably close to orgasm, and then stopped, gripping his balls and pulling downward to emphasize the size of Jacob’s hard-on. Then he continued again, careful not to let Jacob get too far.

When he was satisfied that Jacob needed to come, he began to stroke with his hand again until Jacob's breath became short and excited. Andrew stopped pumping Jacob, gripping his balls and pulling downward again, but this time hard. Jacob released three powerful thrusts of his pelvis, sending four long strings of semen onto Andrew's back as Andrew pushed his face into Jacob's crotch. Heaving audibly, Jacob gasped for breath, thrusting uncontrollably for several more spasms until he slowly regained his composure.

Andrew released the grip he had on Jacob's balls and slowly stood up, semen running down his back and buttocks. He smiled into Jacob's serious face, brushing his hand over Jacob's lips. "Smile. Wasn't that fun?"

"I think you need another shower," Jacob answered, turning Andrew around as he reached for the soap to wash Andrew's back.