First, a brief sidenote. I was in the locker room tonight at the gym, toweling off after a good workout. Some guy of about my age was also preparing to leave. An old Paul Simon song came on the radio... god, what is its title .... "When I was just boy (When I was just boy), my mother would call my name. She said now who do, who do you think you're fooling... Anyway, it'll come to me. But immediately as the song began the guy looked up at me with a big, wide grin and spontaneously exclaimed to me, "What a great old tune." I smiled back in appreciation. and then he turned to his friend who had just come in and said the same to him.

That's nice... to be just surprised by a wonderful song you haven't heard in a long time, and to be moved in spontaneous, well, joy, to tell a total stranger. I know what he felt. I'm often surprised in the very same way. I was especially glad that it was Paul Simon, because a few of his songs have had the same effect on me. Everytime I hear "Kodachrome" I think was a fucking good song that is. And I remember when that song was popular and being played on the radio--I hated it, thought it was stupid--what is Kodochrome, the name for a film? Well, what did I know as a stupid kid. But to my point, if there is one... I liked that he was so moved. I'm not sure why, but to me it suggests he's not vacuous, that perhaps he has something of an inner life, that he can recognize beautiful things and appreciate them with excitement. Too often I'm pessimistic about such things--I think people are only interested in hanging out with their friends, talking on their cell phones, and watching "The Bachelor." I wonder, though, if I'd taken his excitement as evidence of an inner life, if it had been an old Zepplin song. Probably not. No, in that case, more evidence of the utter vacuity of today's populous, the world going to hell in a hand bag, etc.

Anyway.... Well, first, there's a hot guy, a stranger, outside my door hanging onto the fire escape on the house next door, apparently doing chin ups? I don't know. Who is that? What the hell.

So, I wanted to take a moment and comment about some remarks I read recently about gay porn. At the time I thought I had some comments. Now I think I mostly agree. Maybe I have just a few thoughts. First, one should always be suspect of anyone who says anything like, "Why do you think X back in the day was so much better than it is today." Ah... it's not. You're just getting old and nostalgic, you old fart. hahah Well, surely it's different and even better in some ways, but maybe the newer stuff is better in others. But certainly the younger generation will one day say about their own porn, "Why do you think we did it so much better than the boys today?"

My other, more pervasive, impression, really, more than a well developed thought, is a discomfort with how gay culture has elevated porn and sex. It's not only how we get off. It's become fodder for intellectualizing, aesthetic discussions, etc., which is all fine, and actually good. I just worry a little that we--gay America--have become lazy, content to spin theories on the latest sexual trends. Maybe there's nothing to this. Maybe I'm simply not comfortable about engaging in serious discussions about porn when I'd rather just jerk off to some hot boys getting it on and then go read Proust by a sidewalk cafe, if I can be such a snob just this one time... ok, maybe not JUST this once, but at least once ... again.

Well, and I have concerns... (Joys and Concerns) .... about how apparently shallow and self-absorbed the gay population is today. But that's not new. And surely there ARE differences, important ones, between art and porn. And I can't yet decide if I like that gays know the intimate details of each other's sex lives within 5 minutes of meeting, or if this is yet more evidence of the ill plaguing the soul of gay America. I don't know. It comes down to me worrying about people being lazy and stupid. But right now I just want to go do something else with my time, so off I go.